After I was left alone, I couldn’t sleep. I only started sleeping when I realized that I was the only one I had. Since then, stuff has replaced many things, especially family. People don’t drink or use substances just like that, I’ve always said that, and I will keep saying it until something happens that changes my mind.

It’s problems, the things we want to run from, push to the farthest shelf. That’s how people become addicts, alcoholics, and dependent. It’s pure irony, I swear. We rush somewhere upward, at speeds that devour our neural connections. We fly to the skies, seeking pure energy, without realizing that we are this energy. Foolish, miserable, poor souls.

Oh, excuse me, I got carried away again. There is no truth at all, so putting labels on people, calling them such things, and ultimately becoming that yourself, is pointless. The mind is such a trickster, it pretends to know all the answers. Such complicated simplicity. People are a treasure, a divine manifestation of everything and nothing at once.

But again, I stray from the topic. Running doesn’t always mean reaching a goal. Sometimes, unfortunately, it’s running away, rejection, denying oneself. It’s useless because, in the end, the system will show all its tricks and reveal its cards, but by then, it’ll be too late. Turn around and face your fears, traumas, complexes, etc. Accept them, love them, and you’ll see that what lies ahead is much more interesting. Everything is so relative.

And an interesting observation: the mind doesn’t know how to feel, it plays, not even knowing why or for what purpose. But energy does feel, and when it starts to dominate, everything opens up: the third eye, all the doors. Everything becomes so harmonious, and you just dissolve.

It’s important to feel and know what you want in this life. These desires, dreams, and fundamental needs come from childhood. But many obstacles confuse people — natural selection, balance, harmony in the world. It means it has to be this way.

I love this feeling of blooming with each passing moment from the thought, “It is what it is,” “It couldn’t have been any other way,” “Let me live through this situation again, and it would have been the same.” And much more — words of a woman whom I saw as my spiritual mentor. During our first meeting, she spoke a lot about things I didn’t understand with my mind at the time, but it was incredible how I understood them with my soul. And I continue to realize more and more each day.

I’ve been writing this small text almost all day, coming back to it periodically, spending a few minutes and adding a few lines. Halfway through, I started worrying that I’m not finishing my thoughts, but I didn’t even try. There’s always some reason stopping me. So many different thoughts, grabbing onto everything, and in the end, I’m left with this feeling of “incompleteness.”